Conversely Logo Navigation
YOU ARE HERE: Conversely ~ Parallax ~ May 8, 2000
Featured Artist

Featured Artist

Parallax - Advice            May 8, 2000

   He can't meet women in bars

Dear Conversely, Ask us a Question!

I've always been pretty shy when it comes to meeting new people, and my track record in bars is bad. I enjoy going out but most of the time I can't get up the nerve to speak to a girl I haven't met. I tell myself it's because I just don't know how - because I'm afraid it will sound like another pickup line. I try to convince myself that they're actually hoping someone will talk to them, that they want to meet people too. Is that what women are thinking? Or do they prefer to only talk to people they know?

Email to a Friend
Her view:

Dear Bashful,

I see a couple of things wrong with this picture. First, if you're serious about meeting women, why make it so hard on yourself by going to a bar? It's very difficult to strike up a conversation when all people are doing is drinking. And then you'll probably get stuck with a bunch of drunk girls making ludicrous conversation. Why don't you find a more interactive forum? How about a cooking class or an outing club of some sort - whatever it is you like to do. This way you'll have more of a basis for interaction and can begin a discussion on a topic in which you know she's interested. Additionally, there are new dating options that come out of that type of interaction. There is cooking a new meal together, going sailing...

Second, I think you're trying too hard to "meet girls" for girlfriend's sake. Why don't you just try to make some women friends. These often turn out to be the best girlfriends - and if they don't, they often have friends who do. It gives you the advantage of getting to know women better as a species as well.

Email to a FriendPost your opinion

Back to Top

His view:

Dear Bashful,

There's nothing like going to bars and picking up women. It's so much fun. Half the time they don't talk to you, and when they do, they act as if they'd rather be watching the PBS special on subatomic particle accelerators. Or they're drunk - so you're better off talking to the barman. Or they're genuinely dying to talk to you about their ex named Guido - and you would be interested too, if you were half as dumb as them.

Unless you're planning a drastic personality change, I suggest you find some alternate places for meeting women. Even if you think the woman of your dreams is warming up a stool somewhere, your chances of finding and meeting her there are minute.

A wise man recognizes his weaknesses and starts asking his friends to set him up. He stops wasting his time in the meat markets and joins a gym, or takes yoga classes, or swing lessons, or any other activity that involves forced interaction with members of the opposite sex.

Email to a FriendPost your opinion

Back to Top


Cover (Home)    Parallax (Advice)    Open Mike    Message Board    Masthead (About us)    Letters   

Antidote (Essays)    Personals (Memoirs)    Stories (Fiction)    Unhinged (Oddities)   

Contact Us

Copyright © 2000 Conversely, Inc. All Rights Reserved
Designated trademarks and brands are the property of their respective owners.
Use of this Site constitutes acceptance of the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy.