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Parallax - Advice            October 16, 2000



  They broke up, but he still wants sex with his ex

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My girlfriend and I broke up a few weeks ago. Emotionally we were both okay with it - neither of us was 'super in love' or anything. Now, after a few weeks I miss her and all, but it's not like I'm slitting my wrists. What I really miss is the sex, and I think she does too. I think that maybe I should just call one day and see if we can get together. Then I think she'll say no, and I'll feel dumb for asking. It would be just for sex, and I don't think that would harm anyone. So my question is - how should I approach it to improve chances of success?

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Her view:

Dear One-thing-only,

I say you probably broke up with this girl for several very good reasons, and the breakup is sticking, which is good. That usually takes a little longer to implement. Wanting to use her for sex, because it's convenient, doesn't really cut it here. Let the breakup take its course. Be resourceful: find new sex. Sex is everywhere - just be careful. Sure, it's a little bit of effort and work to get started. You'll have to talk to all these new girls, go on some bad dates, find a target and then implement your 'get into her panties' plan of action. Gosh, it could take months, years even.

But I think you know better - I think you can be in new panties in no time. I suggest you parallel process, multitask…launch a concurrent strategy. You'll need to do two things:

1) Secure some easy sex. I have several friends who would love this no-strings attached option. It's less effort than you think, and some girls are all over that concept.

2) Start your hunt for a new girlfriend - the next Mrs. Sex-Craved. Now this part will be a lot of work. You'll need to display all sorts of effort, and no doubt undergo a fair bit of humiliation in your process.

However, it will be wildly worthwhile, and you'll be thrilled upon securing new girlie (and regular sex by the way). Of course, after you complete the second part you must phase out the first part, and that includes pre-sex with new girlfriend. Then life will be great.

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His view:

Dear One-thing-only,

A cold-turkey separation can certainly be rough on the spirit. A gradual withdrawal program makes much more sense. Start with once a week, then after two months go down to every two weeks, then every three. Of course I'm assuming you are one of those terribly disciplined persons who can pull this program off. Weaker men and women would surely succumb to the narcotic effects of sex and quickly relapse into their pre-breakup state. But I'm sure that wouldn't be the case with you.

Now, as to how to get this to work: the key is to make no attempt at reasoning with her. If you ask her, then she will bring her brain into the matter and odds are if she has a logical disposition you'll strike out. Your chances will be improved by relying on instinct and physical impulse. Find a way to go out and have a little wine. Then, somehow surprisingly, end up in a nice private location with aromatic candles and a large bed with clean sheets. And, if you can make her feel like she's taking the initiative - even better, since no one would then be harmed.

Once the action is concluded, promptly pick up your stuff and leave. Give her about five days before calling for your next session. If all goes well, she'll be over her guilt by then and ready to let her hormones get the better of her again.

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