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Parallax - Advice            December 4, 2000

  Break-up? No voice mail

Dear Conversely, Ask us a Question!

When men decide to end relationships, why do they just disappear? Why can't they tell you that it's over, and maybe even why? Today's gadgets - voice mail, caller ID, call block, etc. - make it very easy for men to run and hide! A woman would never do that!

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Her view:

Dear Touchy,

Oh sure she would, why not? Plenty of women do that, and most women have caller ID for that very purpose. Don't return calls - it's a cakewalk, really. Men don't like long emotional discussions with the potential for tears, so they take the high road and sever all ties quickly and (for them) painlessly. That's just how some men do it. It's actually pretty clean and straightforward, if you think about it.

On the 'you' part of this equation, it sounds as though you've been given the boot. Yes, it sucks. Yes, he's acting disgracefully - with no manners or sensitivity. But you know what? That makes it easier for you to walk away. Just write him off as a loser who was raised in a barn, and forget you ever knew him. Of course, that's easier said than done. But I'm with Nike on this one - just do it. Forget all about him and go hang out with the girls. Meet someone new. Play a lot of tennis - whatever floats your boat - but get on with life and stop dwelling on how badly you've been treated. All is fair in love and war.

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His view:

Dear Touchy,

Clearly, you have led an isolated life. Did you read that 'women would never do that' in one of those hokey treatises on Men vs. Women? Or do you know it for a fact?

Not only are women no different than men when it comes to the various cowardly techniques of ending relationships, but they actually wrote the book on the subject. Of course, I don't mean to turn this into a contest, but such gender-absolute statements are so hollow.

In any case, you may want to ponder why it is that men just disappear on you. Perhaps, instead of blaming modern apparatuses, you should look a bit closer to home.

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You Vote! 86% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 14% with HIS VIEW.

20% of Men agree with HER VIEW and 80% with HIS VIEW.

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