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   Online love?
Dear Conversely,
I've been with the same guy for four years. About six months ago, I met a guy on the Internet and we hit it off immediately. Now we've expressed our feelings for each other, and I'm in love with him. The guy I'm with has just bought a house for us. He knows that something is up, and he is making me feel guilty about it all the time. I just don't have feelings for him anymore, but if I leave him all my family will think I am silly for doing so. What should I do?
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Dear Silly,
Leave, go…say buh-bye. You are in love with someone else. It's that simple. It's unfortunate (one of those crazy Internet romances) but that's what it is, and just because someone has purchased a house doesn't mean they've locked you up. Things change and people make new decisions. I have to wonder why you've bought a house and aren't married. I'm always suspicious of those 'several year relationships' that just can't make the leap to marriage. It's usually a flag for something being up.
That aside - vamoose. Bear in mind that your new guy might not work out. It's early, and you're probably infatuated. He could be gay - you just don't know him well enough, yet. However, your choice has given you enough reason to leave your current beau. Firstly, you were looking for love on the Internet, and secondly you found it. Be nice, and be supportive through the breakup. Don't hang around too long - your current guy will need time to put his life back together.
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Dear Silly,
Wow, that's so exciting. You've finally met your match on the Web. I say, 'Get back to that chat room ASAP, but dump this boring guy beforehand.' I mean, who does he think he is? He assumes all it takes to get you is to buy a house? And then he has the nerve to make you feel guilty because you are hiding a new lover from him?
Besides, if you don't have feelings for him anymore, why bother? Sure, your family may wail and scream, but they must realize you're a smart woman. They simply don't see things as clearly as you do. Perhaps they even worry that when you actually meet this man in person, he'll turn out not to be as fun, cool and perfect for you as you now think he is. Perhaps they worry that this might simply be a temporary infatuation and that you may soon regret passing on the house.
But hey, what do they know?
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March 12, 2001
25% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 75% with HIS VIEW.