February 4, 2002

She broke up
Dear Conversely,
My girlfriend and I broke up almost three months ago. We went out for almost a year and a half and I can't seem to get over her. We've talked on numerous occasions about what to do and whether we can get back together, but she keeps saying she is confused and needs some time. I know that this is the woman I could spend the rest of my life with. She hasn't said she doesn't love me or that she doesn't care anymore, but she can't make up her mind. It has been almost three months and I still have problems sleeping and eating. And I still cry, like I'm doing tonight. What should I do? 
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Dear Heartbroken,
Well that is a sad tale, and unfortunately I think your only option is to grant her the space for which she has asked. Frankly, give her too much space (which will feel impossible to you) and she'll probably wander back on her own.
She realizes you are waiting patiently so she is taking her time. Stop calling for a while and make plans with other women friends. Before you know it, you'll appear on her radar without even looking.
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Dear Heartbroken,
Three months is a long time to go without sleep, food, and relative peace of mind. A few more weeks, maybe another month or two - I can't see you lasting much longer than that. Who needs this heartbreak crap, anyway? You'll finally become exhausted, you'll tire hearing about the same old confusion, and you'll become fed-up waiting for her to make up that fickle mind of hers.
It is possible, I guess, that the woman you are meant to spend the rest of your life with would drag you along for three months without giving you a clear indication of what she intends to do. It's possible, but unlikely.
If I were you, I'd be hoping I was wrong and she really wasn't the one woman in the whole, entire, big, humongous planet that you were exclusively and irrevocably meant to spend your whole life with. Because if she really is the one and only one, you may have to dry those tears and consider the possibility that you might have to start searching for Miss First Runner-up.
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