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Parallax - Advice

April 15, 2002

Mom steps in

Dear Conversely,

Ask us a Question!My mom and I got in a fight at my boyfriend's house and she told him he wasn't going to amount to anything when he's older. Now he thinks he's not good enough for me and wants to break up. I talked to my mom and told her that I'm going to be with him, no matter what. He said he can't do this any more and won't budge from this decision! What can I do to keep him from breaking up with me? Help, please!Email to a Friend

Her view:

Dear Heartbreaker,

Unfortunately, I think he'll need to come to that on his own. You could try to build up his self-esteem. See if you can make him feel more confident—like he has something to offer. Tell him how amazing he is and why he is so great for you. But you'll need to come up with some subtle overtones or he'll see right through you.

You will be chasing him for a while. He is trying to do what is right for you (and you should give that some thought). You will have to convince him that he is, in fact, right for you. I'm not sure if you noticed, but he basically allowed one spat with your mother to come between you.

Are you sure he is worthy?

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His view:

Dear Heartbreaker,

What is your mother thinking? Clearly, she is mistaken. He will amount to a lot, this boyfriend of yours. And what is he thinking, siding with her, being so stubborn? Don't they both see that you are absolutely, completely, perfectly right—and they are wrong, wrong, wrong?

On second thought... Well, maybe he was just looking for a way to break up with you, and mom handed him the perfect excuse. Boys are clever that way, you know? Maybe—just maybe—he got tired of your lack of maturity, and that's why he says he can't do this anymore. But the man is too polite to say so.

My recommendation is for you to look up the word 'immature' in the dictionary and study the definition, carefully. Don't be surprised if you see a picture of yourself next to the text. Then, please proceed to the exit, and do so, with whatever remaining grace you can muster.

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