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Parallax - Advice

December 2, 2002

Blinded by Love

Dear Conversely,

Ask us a Question!I'm twenty-nine, and have known this twenty-three-year-old guy for most of my life. He lives five hours away, near my sister. One weekend, while I was visiting her, we had a cookout and he was there. After a few drinks we got into a deep conversation, and the night ended with us in bed together (we were both a little intoxicated.) He asked me to hangout with him the next day, but I went home because I had to go to work. As I was getting ready to leave his brother asked me if I was staying. When I said no, the guy who asked me to stay left the room. Do you think he really wanted me to stay or was it just the alcohol talking? Email to a Friend

Her view:

Dear Pondering,

Hard to say. You might want to dip a small toe in the humiliation waters and check it out. Either run into him 'by chance' and say, 'Hey, let's do lunch sometime.' Or be extremely bold and give him a call. You were both drinking. For a random encounter between two drunken individuals, all bets are off as to anything said or implied.

I guess your biggest question is whether or not you are interested. Sounds like a random frolic, rather than an event with any sort of thinking on your part. Why all the quandary over something so haphazard? If you do, in fact, like him, then definitely suck up a little humiliation and see if you can get a read from him.

You've already embarrassed yourself in the first place. What's five more minutes?

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His view:

Dear Pondering,

From the scenario as described, it probably was the alcohol talking, so you did the savvy thing. Kudos to you. Clearly, you know how to handle a twenty-three-year-old punk.

You sound like a seasoned veteran in the game of love. I'm surprised you even wrote in to us for advice. Perhaps just looking for a little reassurance on what was surely a momentous 'relationship moment' for you?

What's next? A double date with a nineteen-year-old? Onward!

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