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Parallax - Advice

January 27, 2003

Chivvied by a Chevy?

Dear Conversely,

Ask us a Question!My boyfriend and I got back together and have been seeing each other for a year now. We broke up in the past because he didn't treat me well and I suspected he was lying and cheating on me. He swears it is different this time but I just caught him in a weird lie. He suddenly has a new truck and denies that he ever had another older Chevy truck. For sanity's sake, I asked my brother. He remembers riding in that older truck last year and says he saw my boyfriend in that old Chevy truck several times. My boyfriend got mad when I told him that I remembered the old truck. He says he never had the old Chevy and says he's had this new truck for three years. I have never even been in this new truck but I was in the old truck! Help me! What should I do? What is wrong with him? Email to a Friend

Her view:

Dear Suspicious,

It is never different. A liar and a cheater will always cheat and lie. And I'm afraid your beau is well in that category. You should cut the line as soon as possible and do not question your decision. Your quality fellow has certainly displayed some temerity with the lie about actually owning a different truck and urging you to question your sanity. This boldness is really not a treat for you.

This relationship will only produce one annoying conversation after another and constant checking up on his suspicious stories. Certainly, it is always difficult to leave a relationship but frankly, said boyfriend has not treated you well and his pattern will only continue.

You will forget his very existence once you've moved past this nonsense. Then you will wonder how you ever could have participated in such a ludicrous relationship.

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His view:

Dear Suspicious,

I suggest you let the truck thing be and get on with other things.

Who knows? This truck situation may end up being just an embarrassing white lie that he was too proud (and afraid) to own up to, or it may come back later and be revealed as part of a larger lie.

So keep an eye out for new lies and inconsistencies. It's sad to have to live and love this way, yet you won't be able to help yourself, anyway.

It is noble to give your boyfriend and your relationship a second chance. It is also risky, because you don't know if he has truly changed.

Just don't confuse nobility with stupidity.

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