Featured Artist

Parallax - Advice

November 03, 2003

Religious right?

Dear Conversely,

Ask us a Question!I'm having a really hard time and problems with my girlfriend because her parents don't like me. It's not that they don't like me at all, but they're Jewish and I'm not. I love her with all my heart and have told her so. We haven't made any long-term plans, and with her parents and their attitude I don't know if we can. My girlfriend says her parents will have to get over it. However, she also asked me if I would convert and I would never do that because I've always been a Christian. Is there something I can do? Is there some way to solve this or are we doomed? Email to a Friend

Her view:

Dear Revelations,

It all depends on how much your girlfriend loves you and to what extent she is willing to buck the family trend. You should be clear about your wishes not to convert, as she may be hoping in the end you will do so.

You'll just have to play this one out and see what happens. You are not automatically doomed and, if your relationship is fantastic, my guess is that she will find a way to keep you. But you must also think about these issues. Think about children and how you will raise them. Make sure you are comfortable with these differences. They are indeed challenging to manage, especially if you are both devoted to your religions. It will be difficult for you to influence her side other than being a fantastic boyfriend.

The best you can do at this point is to make yourself worth all the trouble. As the relationship becomes more serious and you begin to discuss marriage and the like, you'll need clarification from her that she is willing to keep you.

Back to TopAsk Us

His view:

Dear Revelations,

Take a deep breath before you give birth to a large mammal. Then take a nap and then take a vacation. Once you calm down, your visions of gloom and doom may recede and be replaced by peaceful rational thoughts such as:

   1. Relationships between people of different religions are nothing new. You are not inventing the wheel.

   2. The one thing worse than paranoid parents-in-law is a paranoid boyfriend. You sound like you think her parents are going to tie you down and torture you until you convert.

   3. If it's too early to be thinking about long-term, why worry about it so much? You're not thinking about what shoes you'll be wearing next summer, are you?

The only thing to do now is have a quiet talk with your girlfriend and tell her to respectfully ask her parents to back off. If she doesn't want to, or won't, then consider whether your love for her is strong enough to survive meddling parents. That will be as clear an indication as any of the future potential of your relationship.

Back to TopAsk Us

You Vote!

You Vote! 67% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 33% with HIS VIEW.

Not enough men have voted yet.

You Vote! Do you agree more with HER VIEW or HIS?

Are you... Female or Male?

Post your view

Search Archives

Email to a Friend


Main    Ask Us a Question    Express Advice    Archives

Magazine    Gallery    Advice    Forum    Home

Copyright 2000 - 2018 Conversely, Inc. All Rights Reserved. Contact Us.
Designated trademarks and brands are the property of their respective owners.
Use of this Site constitutes acceptance of the Terms and Conditions and Privacy Policy.