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Parallax - Advice

July 25, 2005

Wet around the ears?

Dear Conversely,

Ask us a Question! My problem may seem insignificant but it is playing a big part in my relationship. My partner is a sloppy kisser. We've been living together for the past three years. At first you can ignore something like this because everything else is so good. But now it is really affecting us. I avoid kissing him most times and during sex I feel like a complete bitch because I have to wipe my mouth every time he kisses me which of course does nothing for intimate relations. I've tried talking to him about it but he tells me to get over it and get used to it. That's a bit hard to do when he leaves a ring of saliva around my mouth whenever he kisses me. I have never had this problem with any other guy. I love him but this is driving me crazy. Email to a Friend

Her view:

Dear Choked,

Okay, you have two options. You can seek counseling to help you work through this in a positive way; or you can pick up an equally disgusting sex habit and tell him he should just learn to get used to it. I will avoid direction on your choices of revolting habits. I'm sure you can find one suitable to the situation. When he reaches his limit of what he cannot tolerate-negotiate an equitable trade.

You can only insist for so long because you require a very constructive solution or one that is completely childish. Frankly, he's being quite childish.

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His view:

Dear Choked,

Indeed, your problem sounds trivial for a good reason: it is trivial. What you need is a reality check. You need some perspective. You need to talk to women whose husbands cheat; whose lovers spend all day parked in front of the TV; or whose boyfriends pull up the anchor at the very first mention of the word marriage.

You ought to spend some time thinking about how great you have it. You are in love and 'everything else is so good.' Take all that goodness and add it up. Think about how stupid you're going to feel a year from now when you realize what a big stink you made about such a small detail.

Relationships are about trade-offs and compromises. Get ready to make one more.

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You Vote! 92% of Women agree with HER VIEW and 8% with HIS VIEW.

25% of Men agree with HER VIEW and 75% with HIS VIEW.

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