can't believe that I, a whole-grain-steamin', tofu-munchin' dame, am in love with a man who thinks that anything that's breaded and deep fried makes a good dinner. But what can I do? He's a gifted writer, and my intellect has always been my primary errogenous zone.

All my life I've studied classical music, and all my life I've written. Now I mostly write about classical music, and teach its history to befuddled undergraduates. Occasionally, though, it's fun to sketch other scenes from life. Man cannot live by music alone, although he can come pretty close. The late Canadian pianist Glenn Gould, my muse in many ways, wrote as lovingly about the Toronto Zoo and the importance of solitude as he did about how much he hated Mozart.

No, I don't hate Mozart. I do hate deep-fried foods, though. It seems we don't have to be in complete agreement with someone in order to be inspired by him.

My email: ajalcuin@onebox.com.

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